Can your weight ruin your marriage?

Marriage is a tricky subject at the best of times. Adding any type of stress to an already marriage on the edge and you can have a disaster. Your own weight can play an awfully big part in a successful marriage. Whether we like it or not our partners found our appearance pleasant at the time we first met and that was the initial spark to a first date. Our looks, fitness and weight all played a part of that first look.

Now you might say that he or she loves me for who I am and not what I look like which would be true in very strong marriages. If you took elements from that marriage like sex and other physical activities that you enjoy doing together like hiking or tennis then the marriage might change.

I have seen marriages start to fall apart because the wife refused to have sex with her 350 lb husband. His weight was too much for her to bear during sex. When they first got married he weighed only 200lbs. They both loved to cook and eat. He gained 150 lbs and she 40 lbs during their 10 year marriage.

They did not have to get marriage counseling from the National Institute of Marriage but got help from their doctor who sent them both to a dietitian.

He is now down to 275 lbs and she has lost 15 lbs. I know that they are happier now but no word on the bedroom activities yet.

Here are some facts on marriage counseling:

With the national divorce rate around 50%, there is no doubt that many marriages run into communication problems at some point. There is a communication epidemic. The National Institute of Marriage has created marriage counseling programs and resources utilizing a structure that is the most powerful format they have found for helping couples who feel stuck and hopeless. They have designed several programs to help couples move past the barriers and experience the marriage of their dreams.
NIM's Intensive Marriage Counseling Programs are unique from weekly marriage counseling in three distinctive ways:

· Intensive Marriage Counseling Format: Committing to an extended amount of concentrated time like the 2 or 4 day Marriage Intensive allows people to get to the root of the problem and stick with it in order to work through it. If you’ve been in traditional marriage counseling before, you may have experienced how you spend the first half catching up from the week before, the second half getting into the real issues, and then the time is gone. The Intensive format is designed so that people have the chance to go deeper without many of the other distractions of daily life and have enough discuss to consider solutions.

· Efficiency: One of the first steps in the process is an extensive assessment with some questionnaires. This allows the therapists to gather background information and can get an idea of the best strategy to proceed before you arrive for your session.

· Marriage Counselors: The counselors at the National Institute of Marriage are specialists in this area. One analogy we like to use is that of the Mayo Clinic: people go to their regular physician but may be sent to a specialist to work with specific areas. The NIM marriage therapists have been trained in this format to maximize its effectiveness. Also, the NIM marriage counseling programs provide the perspectives and insight of two professionals rather than one.
If you are considering divorce, you must try the National Institute of Marriage before giving up. They have developed a continuum of care that meets couples wherever they may be in their relationship. Regardless of the health of their marriage they have a service that can help couples improve their marital satisfaction. Visit their website at http://www.nationalmarriage.com. Read the incredible testimonies from the couples that saved their marriages by attending a Marriage Intensive at the National Institute of Marriage.

Embarrassed by clothing

A few years back when I weighed about 30 lbs heavier than I do now, my sister-in-law gave me for a Christmas present a soft chenille sweater. It felt nice but when I tried it on it was short, too short, like belly short. I like my sweaters long. I never returned it to the store even though I could have and let it hang in the closet for at least 2 years.

A month ago I got it in my head to try it on again. It not only fits better but looks great on me. The sweater is now longer than the belly length and feels nice against my skin. I now know the benefits of losing a few pounds to look good in clothes that I felt were just wrong for me a few years ago.

Slow weight loss with pills

A few months ago, there was an interesting piece of research published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Before I start to explain the research, I should make it clear that it's not a full scientific study. Only a small sample of participants were involved and the conclusions have not been independently verified. But it is, as you might say, certainly food for thought. Most people who want to lose weight play around with their diet, talk about exercising and buy phentermine to use as an appetite suppressants. The combination of diet and a weight loss medication will, over time, reduce those pounds. All it takes is the self-discipline to stick to the diet.

When you were young, you probably remember your mother telling you to eat more slowly. In my family, there were standing jokes about how many times you were supposed to chew each mouthful before swallowing it. We agreed a different number of chews depending on whether it was toast in the morning or meat for dinner. But it now seems we were ahead of our time - unscientifically speaking. The most recent research was carried out by the University of Rhode Island. On two separate occasions, it invited thirty young people who notoriously eat large quantities, and gave them a meal of pasta, cheese and tomatoes. On the first occasion, they were asked to eat the meal as quickly as they could. On the second occasion, the participants were encouraged to socialize as much as possible during the meal and to eat slowly. Although they were not given an actual number of chews for each mouthful, they were told to make sure that the food was thoroughly chewed before they swallowed it. The results of this experiment showed that the participants ate an average of seventy fewer calories when they ate slowly. When you use the drug phentermine, it works by using the brain's messaging system to send a signal that the stomach is full. People stop eating when they feel full. Without the aid of phentermine, it takes about thirty minutes for the stomach to send that message to the brain indicating fullness. The natural process relies on physical changes to the stomach which distends as food enters and the release of appetite-related hormones. This new research confirms the theory that the more time you give yourself for the natural system to work, they less you will eat. The researchers also speculate that the more you savor and enjoy the food, the more you will be satisfied by eating fewer calories. Eventually you should be able to retain your eating habits to the point of not having to take any drug to either maintain or lose weight.

Whales and weight loss

Warning to all weight watchers. The Japanese have just published a scientific report in Polar Biology - another of those must-read journals. Kenji Konishi, who works out of the Institute of Cetacean Research in Tokyo, said August 27 that killing was the only way to accurately measure factors such as body weight or fat thickness! So if you're holidaying in the polar regions this Fall and see a Japanese researcher coming towards you with one of those big samurai swords, you may decide that you don't want to be a part of the research. Except that he's talking about Antarctic minke whales. OK, so when did you last see a minke whale on your bathroom weighing scales? He's got a point. It's hard to get a whale to stay still long enough to get an accurate reading. And then there are those caliper things, the "fat pinchers". Where would you get pinchers big enough? Seems hard to have to kill them to find out whether their diets are working. How would you like it in a clinical trial? Take these Acomplia tablets for six months and then we'll kill you to find out how much adipose fat you've lost. Can't they just guess? Actually, when it comes to human clinical trials, they use advanced science like tape measures for waists.

Another weight loss idea

Today we have a guest blog post writer-

Have you noticed how many people complain these days? Walk round a supermarket, any large store or go into a restaurant and the odds are you will find someone making a complaint. When you can't help but overhear what is being said, these people tend to be playing the blame game. Something has gone wrong. It's someone else's fault. These others should do something to make the complainer feel better. Many times, of course, the complaints are genuine. The toaster went up in flames or the dress proved transparent when soaked in a rain storm. But, some of the time, the complainer is trying to pass responsibility and find someone to blame for their own failings. Take people trying to lose weight as an example. Some blame the lack support from their families, or say they have bad genes. Some lack the will power - they are too weak ever to carry through on a tough diet. Actually, if people do take responsibility for their diet and exercise, they usually lose weight. When good eating habits and physical exercise are combined with acomplia, clinical trials show people lose an average of 10% of their body weight and keep it off for at least a year. All that is required is that people treat weight loss like a broken leg. If you broke your leg, you would go to hospital and have the bones set. A plaster cast and painkillers would follow. Then after a little physical therapy, you would be walking normally again a month or so later. When you are aware of a problem, you take action and get it fixed. Anyone who wants to change their diet can do so. It's easy to just eat less. Creating excuses for yourself is letting yourself off the hook. You lack the motivation but don't want to admit it either to yourself or others (particularly those close to you). So instead of blaming others because things didn't turn out the way you hoped, find good reasons for sticking to the diet, eating less and exercising more. For the fastest results, use acomplia and watch those pounds drop. It's not going to be easy all the time. You're going to be tempted from time to time. So long as it's only a temporary relapse into bad habits, you will keep on losing weight. The more honest you are with yourself, the better. In fact, you should start to listen to yourself more. If you catch yourself inventing excuses for not following the diet, call yourself on it. If you find yourself rationalizing not going down to the gym, complain about your own laziness. Taking responsibility for reducing your own weight is the first and single most important step to take to slimness.