Friday, November 21, 2008

Can your weight ruin your marriage?

Marriage is a tricky subject at the best of times. Adding any type of stress to an already marriage on the edge and you can have a disaster. Your own weight can play an awfully big part in a successful marriage. Whether we like it or not our partners found our appearance pleasant at the time we first met and that was the initial spark to a first date. Our looks, fitness and weight all played a part of that first look.

Now you might say that he or she loves me for who I am and not what I look like which would be true in very strong marriages. If you took elements from that marriage like sex and other physical activities that you enjoy doing together like hiking or tennis then the marriage might change.

I have seen marriages start to fall apart because the wife refused to have sex with her 350 lb husband. His weight was too much for her to bear during sex. When they first got married he weighed only 200lbs. They both loved to cook and eat. He gained 150 lbs and she 40 lbs during their 10 year marriage.

They did not have to get marriage counseling from the National Institute of Marriage but got help from their doctor who sent them both to a dietitian.

He is now down to 275 lbs and she has lost 15 lbs. I know that they are happier now but no word on the bedroom activities yet.

Here are some facts on marriage counseling:

With the national divorce rate around 50%, there is no doubt that many marriages run into communication problems at some point. There is a communication epidemic. The National Institute of Marriage has created marriage counseling programs and resources utilizing a structure that is the most powerful format they have found for helping couples who feel stuck and hopeless. They have designed several programs to help couples move past the barriers and experience the marriage of their dreams.
NIM's Intensive Marriage Counseling Programs are unique from weekly marriage counseling in three distinctive ways:

· Intensive Marriage Counseling Format: Committing to an extended amount of concentrated time like the 2 or 4 day Marriage Intensive allows people to get to the root of the problem and stick with it in order to work through it. If you’ve been in traditional marriage counseling before, you may have experienced how you spend the first half catching up from the week before, the second half getting into the real issues, and then the time is gone. The Intensive format is designed so that people have the chance to go deeper without many of the other distractions of daily life and have enough discuss to consider solutions.

· Efficiency: One of the first steps in the process is an extensive assessment with some questionnaires. This allows the therapists to gather background information and can get an idea of the best strategy to proceed before you arrive for your session.

· Marriage Counselors: The counselors at the National Institute of Marriage are specialists in this area. One analogy we like to use is that of the Mayo Clinic: people go to their regular physician but may be sent to a specialist to work with specific areas. The NIM marriage therapists have been trained in this format to maximize its effectiveness. Also, the NIM marriage counseling programs provide the perspectives and insight of two professionals rather than one.
If you are considering divorce, you must try the National Institute of Marriage before giving up. They have developed a continuum of care that meets couples wherever they may be in their relationship. Regardless of the health of their marriage they have a service that can help couples improve their marital satisfaction. Visit their website at Read the incredible testimonies from the couples that saved their marriages by attending a Marriage Intensive at the National Institute of Marriage.

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